War Games

I was sitting in the theatre, waiting for Meet the Fockers to start and along with a litany of reviews and newspaper advertisements, I saw an advertisement for Medal of Honor Pacific Assult. It's the latest first person shooter game that promises even more in-depth and realistic action. I will grant that the video shown of the game was spectacular and seeing it on a huge movie screen only added to it's impressiveness, but it brought up another thought. Why do people, 15-30 year old males most likely, want to be immersed in war so much?

Typically war games focus on World War II, I guess it has some of the most memorable stories and is long enough ago that people remember it, but the negative aspects aren't as fresh in their memory. I wonder if people who actually lived through the storming of Normandy have any interest in playing war games? My gut instinct says, “No.” Thankfully, I've never been in a war situation, I'm not sure how I would react, but I can't believe it would be an enjoyable experience and most likely not one that I would feel the need to relive through video games.

Just a few years ago video games had a blocky, cartoonish look to them and it was very clear that you were playing a game. The processing power, particularly in video cards, has allowed for an entirely new generation of games to be created. The new games often look like a quality CGI generated movie and the quality has been improving at an amazing rate. When you put a person into a uniform, like in football games, they are already becoming photo realistic. I've done a double take a few times on live, real football games when I thought I might be viewing a video game.

There are aspects of human beings, such as facial features and little details of hair, skin and weight are very hard for video games to replicate, but given time they'll reach full realism. What happens then? Can we continue to train entire generations of kids how to kill scores of human beings and not expect Columbines and maybe worse? In my view, if we are going to allow video games to become real versus cartoons, then we should at least consider the lessons that they teach.

Car Dream

Last night I had a dream that I'd like to share. It starts with me pulling into a convenience store parking lot. The parking lot is empty, but I'm in a hurry and pull into a handicap parking space so that I can rush into the store. I'm not in the store very long, but when I come out I am shocked to discover that someone has been "working" on my car's engine.

I start to protest to the mechanic, but without saying a word he points at a sign next to the handicap sign. I don't remember the sign being there when I went into the store, but it appears to be a contract that is activated by a person parking in the designated spot.

I go back to the mechanic and tell him to stop working on my car, but he seems to have already finished whatever he felt needed work. I see a bucket with oil and a few small parts like nuts and bolts, but no other signs of this work. He hands me a bill for $2,100 and requests payment.

I thought maybe the mechanic was trying to punish me for parking in the handicap spot so I start to bargain with him and offer a few hundred dollars (similar to what I think the fine might be). But he is insistent on getting the full amount. After some negotiation, his brother shows up out of nowhere and warns the mechanic that Dad would kill him if he didn't get the full payment. I don't remember all the details, but I more or less spent the rest of the dream negotiating with this pair.

There were a few unusual things about this dream. First, I never park in a handicap spot, it's just not something that I would ever consider doing. Second, I woke up twice from this dream and both times proceeded to immediately go back into the dream and pick up where I left off. I can't remember the last time I continued a dream in this manner.

A friend mentioned that the car represents my life, so maybe I feel that people are messing around with my life. Or maybe I just feel out of control of my own life. Any opinions?

Fear

I was recently reminded of this quote, so I thought I would share:

 "I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. ... It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. ... You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."

    - Pi Patel, from "The Life of Pi" excerpts from chapter 56

Paperwork ... when less is more.

I've been falling into a web of paperwork for many years. Based on some of the paperwork that has been surfacing recently it would seem that I started to lose control sometime in the mid 90s. Which would indicate that it started with my first job. Sometimes the physical evidence points to what should otherwise be an obvious conclusion. Your first job is when you start paying for all your monthly expenses and sign up for extra credit cards. Plus you are getting a paycheck on a regular basis.

With my first job I also felt a sudden need to grow up. I was an adult and to me that meant responsibility, including the dutiful handling of paperwork. I wasn't really taught anything specific about handling paperwork, but I did observe my parents handling the issue by storing everything. Perhaps they tossed papers on occasion but I only saw the storing part.

Aside from the mess that is periodically created when the mass of paper breaks free, I have several concerns about how to handle it. In the face of uncertainty, the status quo wins and consequently I've spent more than ten years accumulating a variety of different paperwork. This includes bills, receipts and supporting paperwork for things like the house, car, taxes and other possessions.

I'm concerned about throwing away paperwork that I might need someday. Not one really tells you what paperwork should be kept or for how long. Plus, I've heard so many stories about identity theft that I'm concerned about people rooting through my trash.

To resolve the first concern I started a google search, asking how long I need to keep different paperwork, the only consistent answer seems to be that tax relevant paperwork needs to be kept for 7 years. No more, no less since extra information can sometimes be subpoenaed by the IRS and cause more problems. Opinions on other kinds of paperwork ranged from just long enough to ensure that your payment was received, to three years for anything.

I’ve made the personal judgment that I will keep taxes for 7 years, insurance information for as long as the policy is active and anything else for just long enough to confirm the information on the paperwork is correct.

To resolve the second concern I now crosscut shred any document that might have even a marginal value to nefarious folks. This takes extra time and is somewhat of a pain, but the extra comfort is worth it.

After years of learning how to store things and organize my life it is nice to get rid of things and simplify my life. It’s a strange joy to let go possessions and I’m already starting to extend this idea to other areas of my life. Ten years of gathering paperwork and other material possessions doesn’t clear up in a weekend, but I’m on a better path now.